True Friendship

We all have friends. Friendship involves recognition or familiarity with another's personality. How can we recognize potential friendship? Signs include a mutual desire for companionship and perhaps a common bond of some kind.

Beyond that, genuine friendship involves a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life. True friendship involves action: doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in return; sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or negative criticism. Friends often share likes and dislikes, interests, pursuits, and passion.

A lot gets talked about friendships. Everyone wants a true friend, and many of us believe that we have a friend who can be called a true friend. What kind of relations do friends share? When can we call a friend a true friend, and when can our friends take us as their true friend. After a romantic relationship, friendships are the most important relationships we can have. Though all of us have family and distant family, most of us rely on friends for advice, comfort and inspiration.

How do we define a relation that can be called as one of true friendship? The very first sign of a very good friend, not necessarily a true friend is that we are not worried about courtesies. You will call your friend at any hour and talk without any thought of time in your mind. Similarly, whenever you need support, you will call a very good friend and ask him/her to help you out. They expect the same from you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much worried about exposing ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without worrying about what our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk. A true friend is a little more than a very good friend. A true friend will support you even if it hurts his/her own interest. A true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be with you without any analysis or criticism. A true friend will come forward to help without any request and be with us in need without showing it or expecting anything in return. With a true friend, you can be sure that you will get help to the extent possible by him/her. Nothing will remain unturned.

A mother is a true friend of her children. If we share such relations with an adult we can say that we are true friends. A true friend makes no excuses of having work or appointments or anything but will be with you whenever you need him/her. In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you. A true friend is not an opportunist. A true friend means to have someone who is like mother, as I said earlier. Instead of having hundreds of good friends, if you have a true friend, treat yourself lucky. If you can also become a true friend of someone, you will be blessed, because it is much easier for all of us to expect but very difficult to give. Be a true friend yourself first. True friendship stories are found throughout the Bible. In Genesis 18:17-33, we read about God sharing His intentions with Abraham. Abraham responds by telling God his thoughts and feelings about the situation. God and Abraham are able to do this because they trust and respect each other.

First Samuel 20 focuses on the friendship of David and Jonathan. These two men truly cared for each other and had great trust and confidence in one another. David was running for his life from Jonathan's father, Saul. Jonathan recognized that David was innocent. Because of the true friendship they shared, David survived Saul's assassination attempts and went on to become one of Israel's greatest kings.

Real and true friendship involves freedom of choice, accountability, truth, and forgiveness. Peter and Jesus give us this example: Peter, afraid for his life after Jesus is led away from the Garden of Gethsemane, denies knowing Jesus (John 18). As He is led away by His accusers, Jesus casts a look toward Peter that says, "I knew you would deny Me, and I forgive you" (John 21).

In the western world, we have Intimate friends, Casual friends. I had just one intimate friend, who I share all my thought with and he also does the same. But I have been disappointed by those I call my true friends. My friends sometimes gossip about, keeping malice with me. I remember vividly, when I was in the college, I was staying in the boarding house and with great friends and bigger challenges. My parent had to transfer me to another school in the rural area, because my friends lured me into joining their gang of smokers and gamblers.

When I got to the new school in the rural area, I had no friend, And I was seen as model, because I was staying in the city, I had nobody to influence me and felt remorse for all the pain I have cause my parent and I decided to change and live a positive life. I am always grateful for that decision taken by parent to change my school, maybe I would have been a nuisance to the society. There are friends that can influence you positively and others negatively.

Presently, I have true friends who I share my thought with, but not really going deep with our conversation, because of my past experience. Adeola is my intimate friend, who helped me when all hope was lost, When I had my admission into school and my school fees was very expensive, No money to even pay for my hostel. So I decided to sell my cell phone just to raise some money for so other miscellaneous, he ask me not to sell any of my property and gave me part of the money and this saved me from not been thrown out of the examination hall. This could have resulted to one more extra year in school. He also invited me in 2004 too join “The Salvation Army Facilitation Team”.  I hope to repay him someday.